It’s midterms, my dudes. You probably procrastinated and have some late nights ahead of you. So, if you are a dedicated student and hardcore Yerba supporter, consider these 10 alternative ways to get your Yerba fix. It’s time to ditch your mainstream ways because no one likes a basic bitch.
1. Tampon Plugging:
When you’re feeling like a slug, you know it’s time to plug, so give that Yerba tampon a snug vaginal hug.
Tip: For those who do not have a vagina, do not feel left out. You can insert a Yerba-soaked tampon into your anus.
2. Butt Chugging:
What are you waiting for? Put that shit in a funnel to get it in your tunnel.
Tip: Use anal beads or butt plugs often, so the funnel slides in real nice.
After taking too much up your rectum, look no further than your septum. Damage your nose, not your GPA!
Tip: Use a laminated bill (waterproof) or a shortened redvine.
4. Shooting Up:
If you’re looking to reboot, take the fast route and just shoot that hoot.
Tip: To all you premed students, help your friends shoot up. It’s a great way to practice placing an IV in patients.
5. Gummy Bears:
If you swear that you can no longer stare at your computer and you’re feeling in despair, then soak some gummy bears in Yerba and pop them if you dare.
Tip: Soak gummy bears in Yerba until they reach approximately the size of Chad and Brad’s dick.
Midterms shouldn’t make you cry, so dry your tears and drop some Yerba in your eyes — I promise, you’ll fly as high as the sky.
Tip: Use a child eyedropper for exceptional precision. If you cannot find one, pop over to the chem building and borrow a dropper.
Put down the rolling paper. Instead, inhale the Yerba vapor.
Tip: If you don’t have dry ice on hand to pour the Yerba over, you can #DIY and use your bike pump.
Your studying might not be done, but you can still have some fun and stun everyone in the library while you show off how you shotgun.
Tip: If you’re a real pro, you’ll ditch the keys and wolf bite instead.
9. Rub a Dub Tub:
If you shotgun, you may choke. So, if you feel like you’re gonna croak, sit in a tub of Yerba and just let it soak.
Tip: Be sure to bleach your tub beforehand. You don’t want the remnants from IV nights to mix with your Yerba.
If you don’t feel like caffeine tripping, you’re a pussy and you should focus on your sipping.
Tip: If this is how you choose to ingest your Yerba, reevaluate your life. You’re probably dull and universally forgotten.