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  1. Body Wash: Smell like that fuckin’ sauce you’re so obsessed with and proudly proclaim to the entire world that you, too, watch “Rick and Morty.”
  2. Paint: Create a masterpiece for your parents to admire when they pop in for a visit and prove that you’re worthy of their unconditional love and support.
  3. Compost: Grow new life from your favorite dipping sauce, allowing it to grow exponentially and consume your life.
  4. Engine Fuel: Take a page from early 2000s, popular American sitcom “Phil of the Future’s” book and create the next century’s semi-sustainable, alternative fuel source.
  5. Chug: Next time you’re having a party and running low on drinks, just pour this stuff into a bottle and then straight down your throat. “Show us what you got!”
  6. Oil Slick: Harness your inner Kevin McAllister and catch some burglars by slicking the hallway floor with this saucy abomination.
  7. Lube: It’s pretty obvious you’re sexually attracted to a cartoon character if you have enough of this sauce that you need alternative uses. Might as well make your kinks come true.
  8. Laundry Detergent: Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Why are we even writing this? What is this job sometimes?
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