Let’s be fucking honest: Everyone’s extra horny during Finals Week, and we’re all just looking for one last good fuck out of our FWB before finals actually fuck us over. So if the person you wanna bang is trying to study, use one of these lines to help you do the dirty:
1. “Hey, I need to do research for my human sexuality class. Can you help me?”
Guaranteed to do more than research in this visit.
2. “Want to bang me like neo-liberalism and industrialization generally fucked the planet? It’s research for my international relations class.”
Careful with this one; you may start up a fresh debate with your poli sci FWB. You don’t want to be too busy with talk to satisfy the real reason you invited them over.
3. “I heard having sex in the room you’ll take your finals in is good luck. Embarcadero Hall has pretty clean bathrooms.”
Or better yet, find the bathroom with the view. 5 points for creativity.
4. “Take an L on that econ final and live life on the edge. I know you wanna end this year with a bang.”
We all know what F stands for.
5. “In a week or so, you’ll be going back home to a sheltered environment with no one to casually fuck. Spice up your fucking life.”
Don’t forget your mom will be here in a couple days to move you out. Get in that last bang while you have a chance.
Diana Prince is not ready to go back to a sheltered home this summer, and would like to fuck shit up before she does.