Christina DeMarzo / Daily Nexus

The dining commons are well known for their widespread range of bakery items, especially their flavors of homemade breads. However, a group of passionate students have taken it upon themselves to end the so-called madness behind the crazy combinations of the baked breads presented by the kitchen staff. Under the name League Of Anti-artisan Foods (L.O.A.F.) these students have protested the complex system that favors fancy bread products over average flavors.  

“Sourdough rolls and French baguettes are loved by a majority of the population,” second-year Kevin Rye, a forefront leader in this coalition, commented. “But too often we find stranger varieties like rosemary pecan or jalapeño cheese rolls that are just too exotic for our palate.”

“If I wanted to eat tomatoes, I would eat a tomato, not bread”

Many students agree with L.O.A.F, finding out too often that their tastebuds are barred from tasting bread thanks to the overwhelming presence of flavors.

“If I wanted to eat tomatoes, I would eat a tomato, not bread,” one anonymous student said. “Sundried tomato bread is just the start of the bourgeoisie imposing their costly ideals on poor college students.”

“What’s next, avocado toast?” third-year Katherine Pane complained. “We can’t expect to survive in the real world if we have fine, homemade, artisan bread easily accessible for our daily consumption.”

L.O.A.F. is determined to submit a petition to UCSB to limit the presence of these high-ranged breads in order to allow for simpler flavors to have a chance in the spotlight. Whether or not the dining commons will agree to these terms and stop producing their high quality baked goods is still up for debate, although many members of L.O.A.F. agree that this is the time for much needed change.

“It’s the yeast we can do to make real changes here,” third-year biology major Kevin Rye said. “Students need realistic bread goals, and lemon poppy seed just isn’t providing that for us.”


Lauren Jensen willingly rises to the occasion to toast the accomplishments of those who take pride in buttering the meals of UCSB students everywhere.