It can be challenging to find a place to cry out your angst on campus during this time of the quarter. To help with this struggle, here is a list of good public places to let loose a few tears … you simp.
1. Storke Plaza
You’re probably thinking, “Are you shitting me? Isn’t this is in the middle of campus?” Well, you’re right, but how often do you actually see people walking through or sitting in Stork Plaza? Sometimes the best places to hide are in plain sight.
2. Anywhere around the lagoon
It’s a very nice, tranquil place. Those in the area are usually just joggers and people walking between classes. The benches there are a plus as well. Fun fact: the lagoon is mainly composed of the tears of many years’ worth of University students. Contributing to it would give you a fun feeling of community and togetherness.
3. Courtyard behind Theater & Dance
This spot sounds like a pretty public place to shed tears, but don’t worry. If people try to approach you or show concern, simply tell them you’re a performing arts major and you’re practicing for an audition. They’ll be none the wiser about your elaborate ruse, the fools…
4. Breezeway in North Hall
Sometimes it’s better to cry out your sorrows with other people. If that is your desire, look no further. It is in this area that you will no doubt find a great many students crying out their sorrows over the results of their final grades in Economics 10A. The poor souls.
5. Breezeway in Phelps Hall, second floor
It is highly unlikely you would be disturbed by anyone here. This last place is so obscure, you can undoubtedly hide here and cry to your heart’s content. It is a nice peaceful spot, devoid of any human life or foot traffic.
Clayton Alexander is a Third Year Economics and Accounting Major, and will undoubtedly be found crying at one of these locations during Finals Week.