“Timing is everything.” This is a saying we’ve all heard and have probably all come to learn is pretty accurate. As college students, we are constantly reminded of the importance of time. We regularly face due dates and deadlines, and on top of that, the quarter system seems to make time slip by within the blink of an eye. As a senior, time is of even greater significance. We are all trying tirelessly to ensure that our last year lives up to expectations while simultaneously attempting to prepare for the terrifying mystery that is post-grad life.
Lately I’ve begun to look into jobs and career opportunities online. I’ve found myself becoming incredibly anxious and irritated when I see one that I would love, but they’re looking for an immediate hire. Considering I won’t graduate until June, I can’t help but stress at the idea that I’m missing out on opportunities that I can’t take now. I can’t help but stress at the idea that when the time comes for me to actually find a job, I won’t be able to. And truthfully, I can’t help but stress at the idea that timing might just not be in my favor.
To me, hearing the words, “Good things come to those who wait,” is equivalent to hearing nails on a chalkboard.
More often than it should, life seems to possess a cruel sense of humor. There are moments when it can feel like time is not only out of our favor, but actually working against us. Whether it’s work, school or relationships, sometimes things that feel so right, or things that would look perfect on paper, just can’t work out the way you think they should. When I look back on the various phases of my life, I can see so many instances where results and outcomes would have been totally different had the timing just been right.
I used to find myself becoming very frustrated and angry at this thought. I didn’t think that it was fair for so many relationships and events in my life to be dictated by this exasperating and infuriating concept of timing. I think it’s pretty safe to say that understanding time, and being at peace with it, also comes with understanding patience … and patience has never been my strong suit. I absolutely hate having to wait. Whether it’s waiting for a grade, a phone call or an answer, I hate it.
To me, hearing the words, “Good things come to those who wait,” is equivalent to hearing nails on a chalkboard. I’ve tried tirelessly my whole life to control this chaotic thing called timing, until eventually coming to terms with the fact that I can’t. No matter how hard I try, the universe is not going to let me control its timing. Because the universe seems to have its own agenda.
Feeling out of control brings us anxiety, distress and fear. We all value control because it provides us with a sense of security and stability. From an evolutionary aspect, desiring control simply comes naturally to us. By this age, we should all know that we cannot control everything. Our world and the human relationships that make it go round are much too complex. If you’re not aware of this fact, then you might be in need of a serious wake up call.
However, I’ve noticed that there is a big difference between realizing this reality and actually accepting it. Simply knowing the fact of your lack of control — and truly living your life in a way that reflects this notion — are completely different things. It’s definitely not easy, but once you learn to embrace the idea that there is way more out of your control than is in your control, your life will be filled with a lot less disappointment and grief.
Relinquishing that innate desire to try to control everything takes a lot of trust. It takes trusting yourself, others and, above all else, the universe. Regardless of your perspective on the meaning of life and what the hell we are doing here, if you have any faith in logic or reasoning, then I think it’s safe to assume that everything really does have a rhyme and a reason.
…once you learn to embrace the idea that there is way more out of your control than is in your control, your life will be filled with a lot less disappointment and grief.
No matter how harmful, devastating or useless things can appear, I truly do believe that it is all a part of a chain reaction that paints us a bigger picture. Every single decision made in your life has an impact. Timing, no matter how much we hate it, assists in directing the decisions that we make and even the decisions that we don’t.
So, the next time that you find yourself feeling as though everything in your life would be perfect if only time were on your side, remember that timing is never wrong. Remember that if you start to feel distressed or cheated by it, you’ll eventually see the method behind timing’s madness. And most importantly remember: What’s meant to be will be, but only when it’s supposed to.
Allie Lebos wants you to stop battling with the passing of time.