What’s the freaking sitch, broskis? It’s your favorite IFC tag-team — Srat Sally and Fratty Philmore — coming to you not live from a trendy af off-campus coffee shop. The peeps have spoken, and they have specifically requested that we dive all up in our young Netflix queues to give you some fiery suggestions for all your basic lit-uations.
1. Impressing the parents/in-laws/random adults
SS’s pick: “Pride and Prejudice”
This one really is a no-brainer. Mr. Darcy looking longingly into Elizabeth’s eyes … You never thought you could be so intrigued by something that was actually written in 18th century Britain. You also can’t believe your willingness to commit to something with British accents after letting your heart get ripped out by Season 3 of “Downton Abbey.” Alas: You find your way to happiness with this guilt-free classic starring our girl Keira Knightley. You will really impress any adult with your knowledge of this Austenian classic; they may even think you read it before you watched it! (Side note: You can also commit to the Pride and Prejudice mini-series for just $6 for six hours of Collin Firth in his prime.)
Kaiser Philmorious’s pick: “Planet Earth”
This is — bar-freaking-none — the way to do it. For one, the aesthetic is out of bounds; it’s like I’m watching some dude from SoundCloud throw down tropical trap on the Brochella main stage for the first time, every time. The Tuesday vibes are so lit, in fact, that they, without question, transcend generations. Also, the narrator is chill as fuck. I would for sure let him read me a bedtime story, preferably “Goodnight Moon.” David Attenborough, hit my line dooders.
2. Post late-night date pick
Sraticus Sallysius’s pick: “The Prince and Me”
Talk about cliché to the max. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fight. Boy and girl get together. Everything falls apart once or twice. Everything comes back together in the end. But this one is absolutely irresistible. Something about it doesn’t have the same basic, made-for-TV, formulaic feel; it’s just a really cute and engaging rom-com. In fact, it almost makes you wish they made a sequel … which they did, with different actors. Needless to say, you should probably just stick with the original. And we all know that nothing makes date night better than being the one who gets to pick the movie!
Kill Phil’s pick: “Silver Linings Playbook”
Sally’s out of her mind because it’s all about that young Silver Linings Playbook. I mean, talk about a breakout performance by my guy Bradley Coop. I would hit tri’s with that kid every freaking weekday (and then hit some Tri Delts on the weekend if you catch my freaking drift). And let’s not forget about the dime of the century, Jennifer “Sit-On-My-Face” Lawrence. She’s the type of chick that almost makes you want to respond to texts.
3. Sweatpants, hair tied, night-in pick
SS’s pick: “Beauty and the Briefcase”
Admitting this one might actually embarrass me a little. This movie is terrible. And when I say terrible, I’m not lying to you. But something about its overt, trying-too-hard, over-ambitious cast and script makes people fall in love with it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s no “Legally Blonde,” not even close. That being said, we all need some modern day Hillary-Duff-meets-ABC-Family in our lives, but if you’re not well versed in the values of watching movies that others might call “trashy,” then beware. When you come back to me saying that you thought it was a terrible movie and don’t get why I loved it so much, keep in mind that I never said it was good to begin with. This may be one you have to watch on your own on a boring night in, but you can also gather your least judgmental friends and watch it together!
King Frap’s pick: “The Wolf of Wall Street”
Wow, wrong again Sally. The correct answer is The Wolf of freaking Wall Street. That shit gets me juiced, especially when you have the banger of the millennium — “Jordan Belfort” by my bromans Wes Walker and Dyl — playing in the background. The boys and I usually take creatine body shots every time Leo says a word that starts with the letters G, D or I, so we pretty much black out around the 15 minute mark. On the bright side, it makes the replay value extra-freaking-ordinary. 10/10 would blackout again.
Sorority Sally is a second-year communication major whose favorite Netflix series to binge-watch is a tie between “One Tree Hill” and “Gossip Girl.” She is about to start “Game of Thrones,” but doesn’t know what it’s about.
Frat Phil is a comm and unications double major and hopes to become a TFM staff writer by the end of his sixth year in college. He’s known for hazing freshmen to the tune of “The Office” theme song.