It’s finally finals week and let’s be real, you’re just one Top Ramen meal away from internal combustion. You’re faced with final papers you should have written a week ago, and final exams more detailed than that Michelangelo painting you learned about in Art History — you know, that class you took pass/no pass and still almost didn’t pass. Amid all this stress and anxiety, you find yourself in an almost out of body, existential state. Or maybe your mind is just wandering from those awesome three-hours-of-sleep nights you’ve been having. Either way, you think you may be going crazy — but you’re definitely not alone. Here’s just some of the things I’ve caught myself thinking of in the past few days:
Walking on Campus:
- Wow, the Arbor really doesn’t rest for anything.
- Is it worth going to the library right now?
- I bet it’s packed, should I even try?
- I want to go home, but if I go home I still have to study, but all I’ll want to do is lay in my bed and watch Netflix.
- The library has better Wi-Fi, maybe I should just watch Netflix there?
- Good thing it’s raining right now and my UMBRELLA IS BROKEN.
- Great I’m only going to get sicker now.
- I wonder if anyone will pick me up?
In the Library:
- Why is that person breathing so loud?
- I cannot focus with your breathing, how is one supposed to study under these conditions???
- Can you kindly SHUT UP?!?! This is the quiet floor, sir.
- Oh you think you can glare at me for saying two words, OK.
- What, is taking a break to look at my social media really distracting for you? Focus on your own work; don’t worry about what I’m doing. OKAY?
- I’m just really feeling a lot of judgment right now.
- Ha! Look at that girl. She’s not even studying; she’s on her phone.
- Ugh, I’m the worst. I’m so hypocritical.
- Okay stop, focus, back to work.
- Is it still raining?
- Shout out to Thesaurus.com for helping me sound intelligent in my final paper.
- Unequivocally…that’s a great word…maybe I can start using that more in my everyday life.
- I should be studying right now.
- I should also be sleeping right now.
- Wait am I getting sick?
- I totally have a sore throat. Oh my God, I’m getting sick.
- Great, now I’m going to be coughing my way through my finals (and on the people sitting around me).
- Shoot, I still need to get scantrons, I completely forgot when I was on campus earlier.
- Should I make some mac ‘n’ cheese right now? Or some ramen?
- I wonder if I turned on trashy TV whether anyone would watch it with me?
- Ooh maybe some popcorn.
- I could go for “High School Musical” right about now.
- Is that still on Netflix?
- …We’re all in this together…
- I wish my roommate wasn’t in the room right now.
- She’s literally been studying in there all day, come on, let’s leave the room for a little.
- Maybe she’s annoyed by me always coming in and out of the room??
- ~~Cue quote about the grass always being greener or something~~
- But really, who’s grass is green these days? #drought
Erin Lubitz is a second-year political science and communication double major. She procrastinated studying for her own finals by writing this article.