via dailydot.com
Venmo is a lifesaver. It lets you pay that $2.33 you owe your friend for a slice of pizza, your drug dealer or any other person that also has a Venmo account. Is it slightly sketchy to hook up your bank account to an app on your phone? Probably. Do most people do it anyway? Yes. But what makes this app so appealing is the fact that you are FORCED to add a caption on your transaction. Whether you are paying someone money or requesting it, you have to put a reason for it. Lately, people have been getting pretty creative with their captions, so we have compiled a list of the funniest Venmo captions we could find.
- “those lovely lady lump-ias”
- “servant shoes”
- “raising me”
- “u owe me ur soul”
- “(pizza emoji) (peach emoji) pizza and undies”
- “Giving you my (lunch) meat”
- “Wait what is this even for. No.” followed by “TAKE MY MONEY HOE”
- “Syphilis”
- “Money to stay away from me”
- “The best head ever.”
- “That mm-mm. That God-damn.”
- “Being a nice girl”
- “Diabetes”
- “chanana bips”
- “*INSERT TACO EMOJI THAT I DON’T FUCKING HAVE HERE*”
- “That time of the month … Rent :’(“
- “Sometimes I ask myself…Do thugs cry?”
- “monkey business *assorted emojis*”
- “I hate myself”
- “you’re a pussy”
- “For my butthole (literally)”
- “hey thanks for letting me borrow your hemorrhoid cream don’t worry I’ll put this transaction on private”
- “i’m your queef daddy”
- “That time under the bleachers (ok emoji)”
- “Partly malk but mostly not malk”
- “sex with my roommate”
- “for swallowing for once”
- “not drugs”
- “basic bitchdom”
- “for fucking your bitch in some Gucci flip flops”
- “Letting me fart on you *insert shit emoji*”
- “sorry that your asshole prolapsed”
- “food for THOT”
- “0 degrees celcius also known as 273 kelvins”
- “fake bitch probs”
- “Being my hoe”
- “fees for puking in my car while you were on a tinder date”
- “Idk what to do with this and you won’t let me put it toward strippers so here grab yourself some chipotle and Trader Joes wine or something… love ya”
- “Sernie Banders”
- “smegma”
