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The Column Formerly Known as the Wednesday Hump



Spoken by a humpless dromedary:

“Hi, guys! They used to call me “The Hump!” See this smile on my face? It’s hiding my inner rage. You may be wondering, why is he so angry? What could possibly have happened? Well, as you can clearly see, there is no Hump today … not even on my back. Why? Because either nobody is getting any on this campus anymore or nobody cares any longer about the education and entertainment of their fellow students. I sincerely hope it’s the former.”

Stop calling me cute

Or I will spit in your face

My eyes pierce your soul

 

I have always found

Justice and revenge to be

Near synonymous

 

Rage is what I feel

This is how I deal with sad

Haiku soothes my soul

 

They call me The Hump

(Not the column, the camel)

Today I am sad

 

“Hump” column is dead

All of our writers have fled

Except Matt Togni

 

I really love Matt

I love everything he writes

But he needs some help

 

So let’s help Matt out

Let’s start this column back up

Go write about sex

 

Any kind of sex

Anal, oral, gay or straight

The “Hump” wants it all

 

Email the Nexus

Or I will talk in haiku

Forever, ya bish.

 

(Also, I hope that

You all are enjoying this

Gorgeous font I found

 

Comic Sans looks cool

If you disagree, you’re dumb

Truth has been spoken

 

I’m just a camel

I don’t really have fingers

What are computers)

 

To stop this madness

Email Opinion today

Let your juices flow

 

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