Disclaimer: Imagining the following scenarios may require you to put yourself in the shoes of someone who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. If this makes you uncomfortable, please stop reading. I would not want to cause your small mind any more discomfort. If it does not, please excuse this and keep reading.

It’s Halloween weekend. You are out with your close friends on an exciting Friday night in Isla Vista. You are texted an address to a party your friend is hosting and decide to go. You arrive at the door, where a couple guys are standing, apparently checking who is entering the party. They seem to be letting everyone in. However, when your group tries to enter, one of the guys blocks the entrance and says to his friend, “Wait, they look gay.”

“Yeah, they do,” he responds. “Sorry, you guys can’t come in.”

“But we know the girl who is hosting this party. Her friends invited us, too.”

“Um … Um, okay come in quickly, but no more of you.”

Fast forward to Saturday night: You are walking down Sabado in costume with a close friend. You pass a house with a few guys sitting on the porch.

“Hey, look guys, it’s gay dudes,” they yell.

You ignore them.

“Hey, we are talking to you. Yeah, you two. Fucking fags.”

What do you do? Do you get angry and respond? Do you continue to ignore them? What if you ignore them and it only angers them more? What if they leave their porch, and approach you to start a fight? Or do you say something? Do you flick them off? What if you do and that, too, angers them, causing them to get up and attack you? Or do you just walk away quickly? Or run?

These are real experiences that I witnessed and had in Isla Vista this weekend. And I am not alone. And it is not only during Halloween that these types of things happen. And it is not only against gay-identified males. And it is not okay.

I am proud of my sexuality. Being called a “fucking fag” was painful and angering but not life threatening at that time. I avoided physical contact, brushed off the words and moved on with my night. And I had a great night.

But there are those at UCSB who struggle with their gender, sexuality and identity every single day. There are people who do not have the privilege of being proud like me. People who are “in the closet,” not because they are not courageous, but because staying in the closet is a matter of survival. Because they are in a fraternity and are afraid to isolate themselves from their heterosexual frat brothers. Because if their parents find out, they would stop paying for tuition. Because if they stand up for themselves, they could have their asses beaten by a bunch of drunk guys in Isla Vista.

Homophobia is very real in our community. It is not wise to simply write these situations off as minor incidents. There are many that go unreported. There are those who may feel like sharing a hate-crime incident that they endured could “out” them. Or cause more violence against them.

But I, frankly, have had enough. Today, it is a few hateful words. Tomorrow, it is violence against another student. Or possibly, those homophobic slurs could trigger someone to hurt themselves.

It’s time the larger UCSB population came together to propose solutions to stop homophobia. We are a beautiful, educated and broad-minded community. Let’s start acting like it.

If you have any comments, concerns or personal experiences you would like to share, please email Andrew Farkash at andrewfarkash@gmail.com. Also, if you would like to get more involved in the queer community and help make UCSB a safer place for all, feel free to attend the A.S. Queer Commission meetings, held Mondays at 6 p.m. on the second floor of the MCC.

 

 

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