New freckles appear
Where did you come from?
Asymmetrical
It’s hard to drink from
Water fountains when wind blows
Stream into my face
Dirty eraser,
You didn’t even do your
Job at all, at all
Don’t you hate it when
You have to use your hand or
Shirt as a tissue
Paper cut, you ass
I cannot wash my hands with
Lemon juice today
Burritos always
Explode in the microwave
Why do they do that?
Lagoon pond water
Shimmers like the Promised Land
You are filthy, whore
Some words are weird like
“Lamp” and “crust” and “putrefy”
But oh, that’s okay
I laughed but I did—
‘nt know what they were talking
About, not at all
I tried to eat an
Egg this morning but it was
Staring right at me
Remember when we
Used to use Norton Anti-
Virus, what a laugh
I had a talk with
A solemn bird today, he
Wasn’t very trite
“Damn, I really love
‘Top Gun,’ shit, now what do I
Do?” Jack Crosbie said
Have you ever sat
And watched the sun rise o’er the
Mountains, me neither
How often are we
Really supposed to wash our
Towels, do you think?
I had no spoon, so
I ate my cereal with
A knife, don’t do it
The first person to
Milk a cow must have been a
Terrible pervert
Lip, you twitching wench
This is embarrassing, stop
I’m trying to talk
I tried to be a
Hipster, but my hair wouldn’t
Look undone enough
I think my right ear
Has a bigger hole, ear bud
Doesn’t fit the same
I tried to buy food
At the Co-op but I left
Can’t eat that much hemp
Person was breathing
Too loud in the library
Breathe on your own time
My bike has become
A real prick lately, he thinks
He’s the new Elvis
By Jana Barrett
Opinion Co-Editor
This is a haiku