Wise Women Indifferent to the Extra Long Schlong



If you were to order the perfect dick, what would it look like? I honestly don’t think I could say exactly. Maybe: no abnormalities, clean, well-proportioned? I’m not looking for a prince-of-the-ball-schlong here, just a handsome contender who knows what he’s doing. What I can assure you does not pop up into my brainstorm bubble is an overwhelmingly large, long, obese penis with a heaping side of engorged meatballs. Think what you will, women just don’t sit around all day fantasizing about being suffocated by a surplus of flesh or painfully walking around like an extra-large dildo was wedged up their asses the night before.

I know it’s a cliché topic to address, but I can’t say it enough: Size really doesn’t matter — unless you make it matter. If you are constantly thinking about how you don’t size up or how he won’t fill you up, you’ll never come to the realization that sex is ultimately about pleasure, and a big shaft does not equal the big O. Of course, if you were gifted with said giant penis, don’t worry — you don’t have to put up a personals ad for “man seeking woman with enormous vagina to settle down, must like dogs.” Read on, and I’ll tell you why.

The massive amount of pressure men are under to live up to some dream dick size is extremely unfair, and more importantly, unfounded. First, physically speaking, there is really no advantage to an above-average sized penis, since only the first few inches of the female vagina are pleasure-sensitive. Also, the vagina has an amazing ability to expand and retract, which means the feeling of being “tight” doesn’t require a ten-pound tuna. (And big boys, with enough breathing exercises and moisture, you’ll get it in).

True, there are women who will talk about how they love a big ol’ one-eyed snake to get the job done, but that is a fetish and should not be confused with every woman’s expectations. And if you are one of these women who badger men with a smaller dish to bring to the table, be sure to keep in mind that though he may laugh it off, it is a very sensitive issue that can be traumatizing for a man.

Of course, we ladies are in no way immune to society’s obsession with size. Women too are burdened with feeling self-conscious about the size and shape of their breasts, which should be seen as just another beautiful part of a person’s body, not a green light or deal-breaker. However, we have to understand that this pressure is so much different for a man. For a guy, performance in the bedroom is directly connected to self-esteem and self-worth, and having a small organ to begin with can be a stressful starting point. So start by communicating, making him feel more than adequate enough to get your juices flowing.

I’m not saying “the greatest things come in the smallest packages” necessarily applies here. Rather, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” If you respect the person you are hooking up with, which I am praying that you do, give them a chance to prove your stereotypes wrong. The fact is, all men are not created equal, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Imagination and creativity is not restricted to the shape or size of our body parts.

Now let’s get some specifics down. I’m sure you’ve all heard expressions like, “It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean.” Well, if you are a man who feels inadequately built, try focusing on multiple points of stimulation. Show her that you are strong and can pick her up and move her around. Use your hands to feel her hair, her body, her clit. Even if she was at all caught up about your size, that will all change as soon as you impress her with your ability to arouse her entire body.

So please, allow these suggestions to shrink your worries about what is really the tiniest of problems. You say less-than-average penis, I say more-than-usual opportunity.

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One Response to Wise Women Indifferent to the Extra Long Schlong

  1. Erina Reply

    June 30, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    When I initially commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment. Is there a way you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it!

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