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Summer, time for cookouts, pool parties and wasting hours away in air conditioned movie houses. Working folk, rising and sleeping with the sun, often lose the opportunity to view these mass produced tent-pole action extravaganzas that the Hollywood mega corporations shove down our collective throat each year. Here’s what one construction worker thinks about the biggest releases of the summer.
“Toy Story 3” It’s a kids’ movie, so that’s not cool right? Wrong. This is Pixar, the most consistent power hitter in all of Hollywood. And classic characters from our generations childhood in 3D? Sign me up. Expect to see posters up in the dorms come fall.
“Twilight Saga: Eclipse” Last year my girlfriend said she bought us tickets to go see Twilight so I told her that I would rather run my hand through a thickness planer, so walking away would be an easy choice. This summer the saga of how to avoid watching this stupid franchise continues.
“Iron Man II” I was so excited to see this movie because the first one kicked more nuts than Batman with steel-toe boot in a cage fight. Everything from the Ghostface and the stripper in Starks Jet to Jon Faverau’s cameo rocked me harder than an I-beam falling on my head. Then everybody who sees it tells me it was a letdown. What a bummer.
“The A-Team” and “The Karate Kid” Wow. Summer ’10 (and the resurrection of ’80’s intellectual property) is upon us. I don’t really want to spend my hard earned dollars on either of these movies; because I have a bootleg cable connection at my cousin’s trailer, I’ve seen these things already. Except better, because without the threat of CGI messing with storyline I can concentrate on figuring out what makes Mr. T (the real Mr. T) so damn cool.
“Knight & Day” At the construction site I work at I hear the other guys talking about how they heard Tom Cruise is washed up and has lost his star power. I don’t know how they got the memo, because they sure as hell have no idea what the Daily Variety or TMZ are. But I can tell you that from watching the trailer, this movie looks lamer then the sexless Katie Holmes.
“Despicable Me” I really got to like silly ole Steve Carell in the hit TV situational comedy The Office. Maybe you did as well. Then Dan in Real Life sucked so much that I couldn’t look at him without going into epileptic shock. Luckily, there’s always animation. The preview is so good that it’s the only thing I remember from the movie I saw it in. Good, clean, old-fashioned family fun.
“Get Him To The Greek” My local theater didn’t get this or something because I sure plan on getting some gut chuckles from this summers’ Judd Apatow flick. Jonah Hill always brings it and that Russell Brand chap from across the pond is a laugh riot; even though he kinda looks like a girl, I heard he gets laid a lot and is dating Katy Perry or something. Look for it in DVD players (or on DC++) come fall.
“Salt” In the 1995 film Hackers, the world at large is exposed to Angelina Jolie’s naked, pre-surgery breasts (and vice-versa) for a fraction of a second. I’m not giving up the time code because the film is worth watching for its clumsy, early, take on the internets, but they are there. Some 15 years later, she tightly holds onto the title of the leading Hollywood beauty, young ‘uns like Miss (actually Mrs.) Fox be dammed. I hope that is enough to carry this movie; it usually is.