Breaking and Undressing
Sun., Jan. 25, 12:37 a.m. – Officers stationed on the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive were approached by an unidentified male who told them an unknown female had entered his home at 6614 DP.

According to the resident, the inebriated woman – whom he had never met before – had entered his house, taken off all her clothing and vomited on the floor of his bathroom. As an afterthought, the man told the officers the sickly squatter was also bleeding from the forehead.

Intrigued, the deputies followed the man to his house and into the bathroom. There, they found an 18-year old girl sitting atop a pile of her own puke, completely in the nude, blood trickling down from an eyebrow piercing.

The officers asked the drunken CSU Northridge student if she knew where she was or whose house she was in, but she didn’t have any idea. Furthermore, the puking princess could not tell the deputies where she staying nor where she lived.

When asked how much alcohol she had consumed, she said five shots and told the officers she was feeling “drunk.” She did not know how she had caused her piercing to bleed, though the deputies suspected a tumble had caused the injury.

Fearing that the nude Northridger would end up somewhere she would regret, the officers decided to arrest her for public intoxication. After collecting her clothing, the deputies transported the out-of-towner to the Santa Barbara County Jail where she was housed, pending sobriety.

Taxi Cab Blues
Sat., Jan. 31, 10:03 p.m. – Officers on 6600 block of Del Playa Drive were alerted to possible trouble by the sound of a car horn.

Looking down the street, the deputies spotted a young man staggering down the center of the street, with a yellow taxi right on his heels. The taxi driver was unable to get around the sloppy stroller and, out of frustration, had reverted to repeated use of his horn.

Despite the ruckus behind him, the inebriated 21-year old refused to step aside. When the officers approached and told the young man to get out of the street, he replied, “Well, you’re walking in the road.”

The deputies, brushing the failed attempt at argument aside, escorted the man, and the girl that was with him, to the sidewalk. The officers then informed the drunken reveler of the dangers associated with walking down the middle of the street and told him to head straight home. His female counterpart, who the officers learned was his girlfriend, ensured the deputies he would do so and they walked off in the opposite direction.

Unfortunately, less than a minute later an argument ensued and the officers watched as the childlike 21-year old pulled away from his girlfriend, shouting that he wasn’t going to go home.

Having escaped the grasp of his woman, the young man fell right into the hands of the Isla Vista Foot Patrol, who arrested him for public intoxication. He was then transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Wild Alaska
Sun., Feb. 1, 2:05 a.m. – A young woman walking down the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive – swaying as she went – caught the eye of Isla Vista’s finest.

The deputies watched as the clearly intoxicated female stumbled down the center of the street, cell phone in hand. The 19-year old then made for the sidewalk, but when she attempted to step up onto the curb, her foot got caught on the curb and she face-planted onto the cement. The deputies then watched as she sat up and promptly returned to her phone conversation.

The officers approached the sidewalk sitter and asked her if she knew where she was. She replied she was either in Las Vegas or Alaska, but could not decide which.

Somewhat befuddled, the deputies asked if there was anyone she could call to come and get her, and the inebriated UCSB student was quick to dial a number. Explaining it was her brother, and that he would take care of her, she handed the phone to the officer, who introduced himself.

On the other end of the line, the brother informed the officer that he could not come and get his sister since he was in his home state of Alaska.

With no other option, the deputies arrested the severely misplaced women and transported her to the Santa Barbara County Jail. While in transit, however, the Las Vegas native vomited in the back seat of the car. Once out of the car, she fell over, hit her head, and temporarily lost consciousness.

A nurse attended to the fallen reveler and determined she was too drunk to spend the night in jail and the young woman was subsequently transported to the hospital.