A year ago, Tom Brady and his super best friends were supposed to reach perfection, scorning the scores of the retired NFLers still rocking their ’72 Dolphins gear. But thanks to some shut down D and the first ever catch by a football helmet, the Giants came out on top, and when it was all said and done, Eli Manning proved he was more than just his big brother’s bitch. Things are a little different this year. The new-age steel curtain is back, and the upstart Redbirds somehow find themselves one win away from their first title since 1947. As much as I enjoyed witnessing the anguish of Bostonians nationwide, I, for one, am way more amped for this Sunday’s showdown. Sure, a lot of my pre-Super Bowl jitters have to do with knowing that Dr. Derek will owe me a handle of Black Velvet when his beloved Cardinals are shot out of the sky, but that said, these rather mismatched teams can and will bring their A-games to Tampa. I have to give Arizona some love. Kurt Warner has played out of his mind — and 37-year-old body — this postseason, and I don’t doubt he will continue to hit his targets if for no reason other than the Cardinals don’t run, period. Larry Fitzgerald can out-jump most of the NBA, but Spiderman and company are in for a bit of a wake-up call against Troy Polamalu and a fleet of defensive backs that have four interceptions in two playoff games, including one by the all-pro safety against the Ravens. If the Flying Hawaiian could pick off a pigskin thrown by the meanest unibrow in pro-sports, there is no telling what’s in store for the chiseled Arizona gunslinger. The scary part is the Steeler D gets even better on the ground. Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison leads an imposing set of linebackers ready to blast the “Edge” back to Indianapolis, and should give Warner some problems despite an above average offensive line. Speaking of ground game, people are quick to forget how dangerous Willie Parker can be. The dude is nicknamed “Fast Willie” for Christ’s sake, and his huge game against the Chargers brought back memories of his record-setting 75-yard touchdown run that left the 2005-06 Seahawks in the dust. Big Ben has been blitzed at all year with an awful O-line covering his ass, but there’s no way the young QB will fold. Oh yeah, did I mention one of his targets is Super Bowl XL MVP Hines Ward? His knee will be fine, the guy’s tough as nails. By the end of it, the Cards will need all the Terrible Towels in Raymond James Stadium to wipe the shit off their jerseys. Final Score: Pittsburgh 23, Arizona 17 Five Super Bowls have passed since I’ve even given a damn about watching the most over-hyped, over-analyzed and gratuitously expensive circus in the world of professional sports. Sure, the Raiders losing like children to the Buccaneers in 2003 — while their fans were getting stabbed in host city San Diego — has put me off for quite awhile, but that’s not the whole story. More importantly, the Super Bowl is the one chance NFL announcers have to drool over the prettiest of pretty boys, just like college announcers do for every game. It’s pathetic. That’s why, this year, I’m fucking pumped on the big game: ESPN and the rest of the sporting world absolutely hate the match-up. In Pittsburgh and Arizona, we have two teams devoid of any prissy prima donnas. Instead, Super Bowl XLIII has two teams that are going to get out on the field and do the man dance. For my pick to win, I’m going with the team that’s been dancing better than anyone else: the Cardinals. I really don’t see how anyone can hold Arizona’s offense down. Kurt Warner is unbelievably experienced in Super Bowl situations. Simply put, the Cards are guaranteed a solid, consistent performance from their QB. Helping Warner out is, far and above, the most explosive receiving corps in the NFL. Larry Fitzgerald is the most unbelievable receiver I’ve ever seen, and he’s already topped Jerry Rice for the most receiving yards in playoff history. Plus, unlike the other stupid-ass leg-shooting receivers in the league, Fitzgerald looks like he’s having some serious fun out there, whether he’s on the sideline or end zone. And if he gets shut down, Anquan Boldin and Steve Breaston are ready to go apeshit. Still, the argument that defense wins championships often holds water, and that’s the weak spot for the Redbirds, right? Wrong. Sure, the Steelers’ bright spot is on the defensive side of the field, but do they have a strong safety that can hurdle an average-sized stripper? Arizona’s Adrian Wilson can. Yet I feel only one stat is truly important in a Super Bowl prediction, and that’s turnover differential. Both teams are so evenly matched that the one with extra chances is going to be the champion. The Steelers have done well in the postseason with a +5 margin, but the Cardinals have absolutely blown them out of the water at +9. Can anyone honestly think that, if Arizona has more possessions, the Steelers can contain Kurt and Larry? Hell no. Final score: Arizona 28, Pittsburgh 24.