I was propositioned Saturday night.
My boyfriend and I met up with a group of friends. One was a member of a fraternity, so he suggested we go back to his frat house.
After watching a few rounds of beer pong and chatting with some people as we played a round of “horse,” I met one of the frat boys with the appropriate nickname of a Greek god. Introductions had been made earlier in the night, so I went to go say hi. I reintroduced myself; he forgot my name and leaned precariously against my shoulder. He muttered a few completely incomprehensible sentences, then let his hand move down to cup my ass as he slurred an offer to go have sex.
Now is probably a good time to introduce a few facts.
I was not dressed in a way that could even remotely be considered “asking for it.” I mean, unless your idea of one sexy lady is someone in jeans, sneakers, a sweatshirt and a fuzzy scarf.
This is not a rant against all frat boys/frat parties/overly drunken people.
And sure, maybe you can excuse this guy’s actions by saying he was too drunk — and he wasn’t thinking. But if you’re going to go around asking people you met a minute and a half ago to have sex, then you really shouldn’t be drinking that much.
Again, this is not a rant against frat boys/frat parties/overly drunken people.
As I wriggled out of his grasp before his roaming hands could cover any more ground, I made a fast dash for the exit. My boyfriend followed me, and he was followed by the aforementioned drunken frat boy. When I explained why I was upset, Boyfriend turned to drunken frat boy and told him to back off. Drunken frat boy told Boyfriend to fuck off, then sent one of his slightly more sober brothers to deal with Boyfriend.
Luckily, this was not the first time this sort of situation had happened, and the frat brother did nothing. But when this very large guy comes over to “deal with you,” that’s when things start to get scary. What if the brother had decided that Boyfriend getting in the way of drunken frat boy was a bad thing? Punches would have flown, and then it definitely would have been my fault, all because I resisted the advances of one very drunk frat boy.
Am I overreacting? Maybe. Was it only an ass grab? Perhaps. But the thing is, this happens all the time. This guy was used to getting his way, and did not take the rejection well. And when Cal Poly distributes pamphlets to dorm residents advising them that “Greek men are more likely to perpetrate rape, gang rape, and acquaintance rape, than are non-greek men,” and that, “Date rape drugs are highly prevalent” during Greek recruitment (Mustang Daily, Oct. 3, 2005), one starts to worry more. This is not an issue only for Isla Vista and San Luis Obispo. It is more prevalent in college towns than not.
All I’m looking for is a little more respect. It did not matter who I was. He thought it was perfectly acceptable to feel me up when I made polite conversation. The horrible thing is that in all likelihood I was not the last person he propositioned that night. And the odds are that I was not the first either.
Whose fault is this, really? Is it mine for being too trusting? My boyfriend’s for being defensive? The frat boy’s for being too drunk? Or his friends’ for letting the situation happen in the first place? What would you have done?
And besides, “drunken frat boy,” if you were barely coherent enough to string the words “you,” “wanna” and “sex” together, do you really think you could have kept it up?
Daily Nexus assistant copy editor Dianne Jobson now knows where not to go for a good time.