Slithering into Isla Vista in a grimy rut well-worn by the vices of alcohol, drugs, sexual harassment and objectification is that lusty, gonad-shaking demon called porn.

The mass U-Mail message that doubtlessly flashed onto every student’s computer screen did a good job of vilifying the perpetrators of locally filmed pornography. And rightly so – truly, both the pornographers’ exploitative designs and the potential to obliterate future political career plans are realistic concerns facing the UCSB students who already denuded, dangled and gyrated their body parts for the camera. Companies with names like College Fuckfest have created permanent records of these revelers’ drunken lack of inhibitions, which may be distributed for years to come by all manner of media.

And while the university’s letter carried the tone of an overprotective mother trying to encase her children in a sin-free bubble, such a letter was necessary. Students had a right to know what kind of activity was transpiring just a stone’s throw from where they were filling up their red plastic cups. By saying nothing, the students’ actual parents could have barraged the administration with attacks like: “You should have told my poor, innocent baby.”

Simply, UCSB administration covered its ass when students uncovered theirs.

The letter’s condemnation of the pornographers does not, however, convincingly shade them as the type of criminals necessitating a call to the I.V. Foot Patrol upon the first shout of: “Show me your tits!” So far, these smut peddlers appear to be working entirely within the law. Porn is legal, after all, providing the models appearing nude are 18 years old and have consented for their image to be distributed. And regardless of whether the university approves, fully consenting adults have every right to appear in pornography.

The difference between College Fuckfest and the average kegger is slight; while many party hosts might liquor their guests into a hornier, more naked state, that sex is relatively more private. Using alcohol-drenched parties to goad otherwise clothed students into going au naturale is undeniably exploitative, but those warning students against its perils must understand that some students don’t actually mind being exploited. Furthermore, it’s not Judy Studious studying in the library who’s being tempted to take it all off. The students being offered a chance at smut superstardom are attending parties with the word “fuckfest” in the title.

Contrary to what that mirthful word “fuckfest” might imply, however, most of what’s being filmed locally consists of fare hardly more racy than the “Girls Gone Wild” series advertised on late-night TV. Shane’s World, a separate company that actually imported porn stars into I.V. instead of just relying on drunken Gauchos, shot the hardcore footage described this summer in Rolling Stone. If – and only if – these students waggling their mammary glands are 18 and sober enough to comprehend the implications of that waggling, the university’s letter of warning is all it can do to the students.

As far as what the university can do to prompt companies to pack up and leave town, UCSB has friends in high places whose scrutiny would no doubt make the pornographers sweat – that is, sweat more than they already do working under those bright porn set lights. They could get nailed for slipups like supplying alcohol to underage students or even zoning violations.

Students: Drink, but don’t strip, if you’d like, and those perpetrators of porn will disappear. If College Fuckfest and their like are taken advantage of for hundreds of dollars in booze and get no nude photo opportunities, they may try their luck elsewhere. But hey – that’s just if you’re into that kind of thing.