“It ain’t like I can’t.” – Minnesota Timberwolves forward Kevin Garnett on the possibility of taking over the point guard position after Terrell Brandon went down with arthroscopic knee surgery.
The SuperFreak has his Timberwolves rolling.
And it ain’t like they are going to stop humiliating opponents any time soon. Minnesota has quickly been the most dominating team this side of the Lakerdome. The Eastern Conference is more muddled than Darrell Russell’s urine sample.
San Antonio is overrated and is likely to be caught by the T’wolves. With 24 wins and nine losses, the team that howls from the Land of 10,000 Lakes is only a half-game back.
Minnesota has weathered injuries from two starters: Brandon, an All-Star caliber point guard with a nose for taking care of the ball, and forward/sidekick to the SuperFreak, Joe Smith, who has a bruised left calf.
In Smith’s place, I introduce to you the one and only power, er, small forward, Gary Trent – that’s right, the former Shaq of the MAC. The Ohio native explains with the proficiency of Yogi Berra, Satchel Paige and Casey Stengel all tucked into one neat 6’8″, 250 lb frame of a man: “I’m not a power forward. I’m a small forward with a lot of power.”
The Timberwolves are 5-0 with Trent in the starting lineup since he has replaced Smith. Trent is averaging 13 points a night and is ripping down nine boards, too. Trent is money, baby.
Chauncey Billups has taken the place of Brandon in the starting lineup, but if he goes down, you know who takes his place? That player is the single most dynamic and electrifying badass this realm knows of since Samuel L. Jackson: Kevin Garnett.
Yeah, everyone else is afraid of SuperFreak bringing the ball up court because he’ll posterize you so fast you’ll duck for cover on a milk carton that smirks, “Have you seen this crybaby?” And the NBA, as Charles Barkley once said, stands for “No Babies Allowed.”
Read the stats on KG and you feel all tingly inside: 21 points, 12.7 boards and 1.75 blocks. Defense, offense, three-ball, post moves, jukes and scintillation that most guards would be jealous of owning are all elements of SuperFreak’s arsenal. Tomahawk jams. Post-up jumpers. Baseline treys. Ferocious blocks from left field. Poking steals. Alley-oops from outside the Target Center. Un-fucking-believable. And Garnett’s not the only highlight reel on this team loaded with studs.
Wally Sczcerbiak is one of the top shooters in the league and steps his game up when he has to; Wally pumps in almost 20 a night. Anthony Peeler and Sam Mitchell are the steady pros. Radoslav Nesterovic is a half-decent big man. Joe Smith is a nice complement to Garnett. These guys jump all over the court, scoring a bushel of points and running an exciting and effective zone defense.
Watching the rest of the league feels like an injected catheter sprinkled with lemon juice. These Wolves are pretty exciting to watch, not like the pick-your-ass Jazz.
Minnesota just comes out, kicks your ass and tells you to shut the hell up. They play the game the way it’s supposed to be played.
And it ain’t gonna stop any time soon.